The world has not been on the collective brink of disaster since at least March, but lately it's the old reliable hotbeds of apocalyptica that have been plaguing the newswires: Israel shooting Arabs in International waters against the world's better judgment, North Korea promising it will turn all of Asia to glass with it's nukes, and yes, Big Oil.
Thankfully, there is something else entirely that you should be worried about. Israel has been mucking around since the Old Testament. Korea is K-razy, but Kim Jong Il has teetered on the brink of lunacy for decades, and besides, China probably doesn't want it's neighbor going nuclear. As for Big Oil's "Spill Baby Spill," maybe, just maybe, this will inspire Republicans to consider that clean energy is a better option and we'll get some consensus on the Hill (because the gulf oil spill isn't the only water getting fetid from fossil fuels.)
So what should you be worried about? Cyborgs.
Liberal, left-thinking communist scientists have made another scientific advancement that is no doubt contrary to God's great plan for us: they've merged biology and electronics. The University of California scientists have created a nano-sized transistor that runs off of cell power, as in biological you-and-me cell power. They say the advanced marriage of biology and electronics will help us understand cancer and proteins, but we all know their real intent is to create a cyborg super-soldier race of half-man, half-machines that will take hostage all patriotic, gun-loving Americans and make them smoke pot and play in drum circles. Just like TNT and the machine gun were invented to save lives, this innocent looking bioelectric-transmitter will be used to advance their hippie agenda.
Stock up on your ammo America. It's won't be a nuclear holocaust a la Korea, and it won't be Bibilical like a Second Jerusalem, it's going to be John Connor taking on evil man-like machines.
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