Airline passengers across Europe were angered that no airline would fly into a giant ash cloud that would almost certainly kill them today, reports the Associated Press.
"What I don't get is they keep charging us more and more anyway--for bags, and for peanuts, and for extra legroom, but they don't want to fly us into a volcanic ash cloud. That just seems inconsistent," said Quebec native Renard Mulet, whose opinion was echoed throughout Europe's airports.
"I paid out the ass for these tickets, and they said they'd get me to LaGuardia three days ago. Can't we go around the giant, earth-destroying plum?" said Richard Hoffman, who had been at the airport since Friday.
"Fuck it! I'd pay double to give it a shot, I'm sick of waiting. If we crash, we crash, right?" said American college student, Arnold Redson, whose spring break with his recently made ex-girlfriend was extended due to the volcanic eruption. "I didn't know there'd be so many hotties over here. If I'd known I wouldn't have invited her. Now I'm stuck here. This is hell."
"Yeah, put him in the goddamned plane. Shoot Arnie into the fucking volcano's throat for all I care," voiced Megan Hill, Mr. Redson's ex-girlfriend.
"It doesn't look that bad outside," said American passenger, Paul Blatt, whose vacation to the resort island of Ibeza has been extended for almost a week. "It's not like I like being here in this Mediterranean beach town."
Passengers aren't the only ones who are frustrated, however. Airline companies are now petitioning the European Union to do something about the ash cloud. "We put a man on the moon, why can't we get rid of a giant, continent-covering cloud of ash?" said a United spokesman.
Delta airlines expressed the same frustration. "It is our opinion that the government shouldn't be able to dictate whether we fly into imminent doom or not. The paying customer should decide."
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