American invades oil slick in Gulf of Mexico

Barack Obama declared a military "policing action" on a growing oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico this morning.

"For too long, this oil slick has defied the sanctions of the United Nations." the President said in a stirring prime time speech. He later went on to describe the imminent threat the oil slick poses to the United States. "Given the proximity of the oil slick to the United States, its defiance of international law, and its refusal to allow inspectors into its nuclear sites, we have no choice but to liberate the people of the oil slick."

When pressed in a short question and answer session following the speech, the President denied the invasion had anything to do with oil. "Look, this is not war-for-oil. That oil slick poses a clear and present danger to the United States and its own people. Its liberation is a reluctant burden of being a world super power."