Late into the morning hours last night, senate democrats tried to calm down GOP minority leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) after he locked himself in the bathroom and refused to come out unless the health care amendments were dropped.
"NoNoNoNoNoNoNO!" McConnell told reporters through the door, "I don't WANNA have health care!"
"Mitch, it's OK, the bill already passed. These are just amendments," Harry Reid (D-NV) explained in a calm, motherly tone. "This bill can't hurt you anymore." According to C-SPAN footage, sniffles were heard, and Mitch finally unlocked the door. "Really?" he asked Reid.
The footage shows Mitch had started to exit the lavatory until he saw Vice President Biden entering the hallway when he slammed the door. "I'm never coming out!!!"
"Jesus fucking Christ guys. Mitch, HEY MITCH. Don't you shut that door. Don't you SHUT that DOOR!!"
After Reid escorted Biden back to the Senate chamber he successfully extricated McConnell from the bathroom. The final amendment was voted on around 3 am. When asked how he got McConnell out, Reid declined to comment. One source who spoke the Fourth Corner on condition of anonymity states Reid said he would let McConnell call him an unspecified name, possibly poopy-pants or baby-killer, in the upcoming election.
[Editor's Note: The circus was (literally) in town during the health care vote]
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