The rollout of new body-scanners at airports severely impacted American's understanding of the Global War on Terror this week, crippling the nation on the eve of its busiest travel day.
"I'm fine repeatedly deploying soldiers to far off countries and conducting drone strikes on small villages, but these body-scanners are just wrong," said a loud, slightly overweight American in line at Reagan Airport's security check point. "This is just an excuse for some TSA-man to eye-rape me."
The body-scanners and full pat downs have been used throughout other parts of the world for years, including places like Iraq where American Soldiers routinely pat down local Iraqis. "Well that's fine," said the woman, "that's all in the name of national defense, but this is unconstitutional."
Many others supported the woman, believing that the pat downs and body scans are invasive. When prompted for alternative ways to protect airline passengers from terrorists they simply shrugged their shoulders. "I don't know what the right answer is but this isn't it."
The addition of body scanners at airports was the second in a string of blows to Americans understanding of reality this month. Earlier in November, Americans were shocked to discover that the country had compiled a sizable debt after excessive tax cuts and waging two, decade-long wars. In protest of the deficit, they voted in Congressmen who promised to somehow cut taxes and also reduce the deficit.
"This is all too much to handle," the woman sighed.
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