Yesterday a Chinese company bought out GM's failing HUMMER brand, a strange twist in the military spin-off mega-SUV brand. There has been nostalgia as of late for the cadillac and the camero as dying American icons, but no one's really shed a tear for the H3.
More car than anyone would ever, ever, ever need, the Hummer is the latest American icon: excess, bad assery, the thought that what's rugged enough for the mountains of Afghanistan is good for Schwarzenegger's morning commute. Drunk college students would ride stretch versions of it down the Las Vegas strip, throwing money and directing drivers to Cesar's Palace or a nearby strip club. Vh1 reality stars were chauffeured in their cavernous backs, without HUMMER they would be relegated to plain pedestrian vans. Assholes drove them.
And now China owns it.
I for one, will shed a tear. The HUMMER, written in caps because it's too big a word for lower case letters. The HUMMER, both a sex act and SUV. The HUMMER, with optional chrome brush grille guard for both flaunting your bling, and protecting your hood from flying deer carcasses. The HUMMER, with optional sliding glass sunroof or gun turret depending on the model. HUMMER, you are America and America is you.
And now China owns it.
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