If there is one thing the Fourth Corner loves, it's freedom. And if there is one real threat to freedom in this world it's not terrorism, or Obamacare, or Sarah Palin. It's Canada.
Make no mistake. Don't let their politeness fool you. They would kill you in their sleep if they could. They hate puppies and rainbows. And they own an 11.5% stake in the most American of enterprises: General Motors.
For generations General Motors has become synonymous with America. It was a company founded on ingenuity. It's employees made a living wage. It gave life to the mid-west, and people who like hockey. These days GM may appear as American as it once was--it's profits go toward repaying government bailouts, and it's employees get paid for doing nothing during summer shutdown--but the secret is out, GM is 11.5% less American than it was a year ago.
Canada already has its universal health care, and its liberal policies that let people choose who they marry--both items which are supposed to cause the apocalypse (thanks, Canada)--can we really trust them with our American car company? What if instead of a huge V10 engine they put in something that converts flowers into hugs? What if instead of 14 cup holders they put in only 10? Where will our 4 other Venti Starbucks go? What if they replace the board of directors with a death panel that chooses which GM drivers will get in car crashes? What if they make everyone who buys a GM sleep with a dude?
Think about it America. This is how it starts. First Canada takes 11.5% of GM. Then 11.5% of Congress. Then 11.5% of our Stars and Stripes. Then they take Michigan. News flash: Canada starts with a 'C'. You know what else starts with a 'C'? Communism.
Good 'Ol GM's unamerican tendencies are nothing new. For years now, they've been outsouring a majority of the production of their vehicles to Mexico and Canada. In fact my '99 Monte Carlo has a big old sticker on the door frame that says "Made in Canada", complete with a 3 inch tall maple leaf and everything.
ReplyDeleteAnother interesting fact to note is that while the Cash for Clunkers progam was so successful in reinvigorating the american car market that GM was able to reopen 2 of its plants and bring back its workers to keep up with the demand. What they don't mention is that one of those plants was located in, you guessed it, CANADA.
Thank you GM and American subsidy policies for watching out for those wacky cannucks during the recession.
That was single-handedly the most informative comment that's ever been posted on here. I think someone just found the topic for their Master's Thesis.
ReplyDeleteHis sentence structure impressed me. That Master's must be making him smarter.
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